This is not easy. I have avoided writing this for a month. The days till surgery seem to speed up and but now I know I owe it to my family and friends to communicate. I have found myself turning inward more and more, intuition seems so fully masked by my fears nowadays, I find myself melting down often. Life review is like that….
I intended to blog every few days because I felt myself getting so philosophical and coming to new places of awareness about why I have done the things I have done–what has been the underlying impulses that have fuelled my passion for possibilities. What has me always want to ‘beat the odds’ and risk it so big? At times like this I have grab hard onto how much faith I have had in life, in humans, in the possibility of healing; for healing the planet as a means for healing our/OURselves.
OUR ECOVILLAGE (which was once OUR HOUSE in Victoria from 1990–1999) is not actually a ‘place’ to me. It is a values system born out of thousands of conversations with hundreds of peoples. To me OUR is about a way of being and those I have woven my life with have taken the ways of being out all over the world. Whether I hear of folks who are experiencing ‘Gratitude Circles’ (which comes back with the story of who exported it from their time here) in some other community in the world….or whether they overheard someone talking about OUR ECOVILLAGE and the nature of ‘living permaculture’ as a lifestyle (not simply relating it to food systems)….each of these threads interconnects the ripples of a possibility for humanity to create a huge culture shift to regeneration. So many people say to me that they see me as such a visionary–or that OUR has been ‘my’ vision for over 24 years (!!)…..but I must say to each person that I am not so visionary (interesting to be legally blind and called visionary 🙂
I could not see natural buildings in the spaces I co-create and co-design–until I met Elke Cole and can now say that she is truly the wellspring of what started the reality that many buildings here (and so many other places she has touched in the world) do not have right angles. If Trent had not brought in such a fierce response to mainstream cultural values and the balancing act of creating ‘alternative’ frameworks for living…well perhaps OUR would not have been quite so inclusive in some interesting ways.
I will say to you that I am a Weaver. Vision can see far ahead for sure…a Weaver can bring together a million threads and observe patterns and beauty in the connectivity (truly living permaculture for me). Everything each of you has said has left an impression, an awareness, an observation, which has fit together with something else I have seen/hear/read/tasted/felt. Fifteen years of design work within OUR ways of being has me experiencing such a beautiful tapestry that I have helped by weaving what parts were mine to do…and I have been more than learner than the teacher.
A concept that is particularly strong for me right now is how I have lived deconstructing all of the ‘isms’ of life for so very long now. Yesterday I dove into a new book brought back by Paul Ororke from his visit to listing to the presentations on UBUNTU in Vancouver last weekend. The philosophy of South African understanding within UBUNTU is “human-ness,” and is often translated as “humanity towards others,” but is often used in a more philosophical sense to mean “the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity and the earth.” Having been raised in the wilderness, communal life, and within indigenous wisdom, there is such a pull for me to understand the constructs of Umbuntu and what Nelson Mandala meant.
I have so much more I feel I wish to share once I start–but will look forward to another post before the big day. I have gotten myself through so many things in life and my amazing journey in this physical body….I have full intent that I jump through all of the ‘risks’ of this surgery and that I can look forward to a clean bill of health, with lots of recovery time, once the surgery is complete. We have made plan A, plan B, and even a plan C…for Freya/Blaine/Trent and OUR ECOVILLAGE. My highest request is that you send them all lots of prayers and any encouragement and love you have to bring forward. If things go with the ‘least good scenario’ please contact OUR office (250-743-3067) and they will direct you as to who to speak with about updates on me personally and the future of OUR.
I would also like to take this time and send out a personal thank you for all of the amazing contributions towards my medical treatments, keeping Trent home so he can be with Freya and I through this, and for taking so much of the responsibility off my shoulders from all of the administration and overseeing of OUR ECOVILLAGE–and that I can finally have a well needed time out. I look at the Indiegogo Campaign a number of times per week and read all of the names of folks who have stepped up…Thank you!! Given how many folks are coming in with $100 and $250 then there is really only 1,500 folks needed at $100…and there are 10K folks who connect through OUR every year!! Suddenly I can see the opportunity for impact more and more as this unfolds…and I am all the more appreciative when you send me personal messages as well.
It has changed me just a little bit more in opening up the conversation again with you –